Day #8: Share Something You Struggle With

All righty, then…let’s get deep shall we? [I would like to say that I am not diagnosed by anyone with a PhD, this is all guesswork off the internet. If you are suffering please seek help from a professional. If you would like to share your own story feel free.]

I struggle with anxiety. Shocking, someone on the internet that struggles with the frustrations of social anxiety.

But it’s only in the last year or so that I’ve really been able to understand what I was dealing with. Mostly due to so many people sharing their experiences on the internet. For me, my anxiety manifests in over thinking, self doubt and constant negative thoughts. For a long time, I thought I was just depressed and that I would get over it at some point. This was not the case and has instilled in me several bad habits. I let my anxiety win because I thought I was just in a bad mood for what has been probably about 3 years.

Even to this day, I’m recognizing weird things that link to anxiety/paranoia. For example: a couple nights ago, as I was trying to fall asleep, my brain kept replaying a memory of when I accidently cut myself with scissors. It wasn’t a purposeful thought process, I tried to actively not think about it, to no success. My brain was on autopilot and wanted to protect me from harm despite not being in danger. I realized this was a common thing for my brain to do. I constantly think about things going wrong like “I have forgotten to lock my front door” or “did I leave the stove on?” Instead of my brain doing the rationale thing of assuring me the stove was not on because I didn’t even use it, it will play images of my apartment building going up in flames for ages. Super not fun and super stressful for literally no reason.

I hope in the next year I will work on my anxiety and over thinking issues. I have put a name to it and accepted this is what I will deal with but I need to dive head first into addressing it. I have formed some rather frustratingly bad habits because of my anxiety and I need to now break them. Wish me luck!

Thanks for reading

MR

Day #7: 10 Things You Are Loving Right Now.

This prompt was supposed to be songs but I’m not loving just songs right now so I thought I would switch it up and give myself a reason to be overly materialistic. It’s the holidays so why not?

Current Loves

  1. My Pear Bellini Cranberry Something Along Those Lines candle. It smells really yummy and has been warming my heart this season. It’s from Bath and Body works.
  2. My new fluffy comforter. It’s grey and fluffy, have I mentioned it’s really fucking fluffy? Because it’s fluffy. It’s beautimous. It’s from Ross. I have no idea what the brand is.
  3. This planner. I don’t have it yet, but I plan on buying it with some potential Christmas money. I have had dreams about this planner. This is getting weird I’ll stop.
  4. Gilmore Girls. I have not yet finished the series entirely but I’m highly enjoying Rory/Logan’s relationship. Yes, I’m very worried that he will turn out awful.
  5. Anastasia Brow Wiz. If you don’t have it in your life, change that.
  6. Shakira’s Chantaje. I know basically no Spanish but I love this song. I looked up the translation and was very surprised it means “blackmail.”
  7. Prepping for my “Top Disappointing Books of 2016” video. Very pleased with what I’ve got going for that! I think it will be very fun to post that video even if I get hate.
  8. Chokers. I’ve been trying to fight the fad because I used to HATE chokers with a passion but now I’m on board with the trend and I kind of hate myself.
  9. Reading my favorite scenes from Nevernight to my brother. That was highly entertaining.
  10. Currently, very excited that 2016 is drawing to a close. I have every reason to start this next year off strong. Do I feel entirely prepared? No, I do not. But I know that I am going to come for 2017 like she stole my man and I’m not going to back down. That was a weird analogy and I’m going to go now…

That was 10 things I’m loving currently! Hope you enjoyed!

MR

Day #6: Five Ways To Win My Heart

Ah. A prompt that is perfect for this time of year. Since I’m a hungry, materialistic and nerdy girl it is really not that hard to win my heart. See how here!

Ways To Win Maddie’s Heart

  1. Buy me food. Effective and easy.
  2. Make me food. Even more effective than Way #1.
  3. Compliment my hair or fashion choices. I very rarely make any effort to look nice so if I look like I spent more than five minutes on my make up/outfit, you better notice.
  4. Reference Game of Thrones. If you have any knowledge of the series I will spend hours discussing it with you.
  5. Like books of some sort. Preferably sci-fi fantasy but really it can be anything.
  6. I have mentioned food, right?

And those are the five [cough] six ways to win my heart. Not too difficult, be they as they may ,but they are important to me. The whole point is actually keeping my heart isn’t it?

Love, MR

Day #5: List Five Places You Want To Visit.

This is such a nice prompt! Minimal thinking, YAY. I also have wet nail polish on my nails so this may be shorter than usual.

  1. Paris – Because, duh.
  2. New Orleans – It just seems like such a cool place and I haven’t been there yet.
  3. Scotland – Ancestors and Jamie Fraser.
  4. Italy – PASTA
  5. India – Because why not?

And that it’s for the day! Ta for now!

MR

Day #4: Write About Someone Who Inspires You.

This prompt is SOOO HARRD. I dislike this prompt wholeheartedly because how on earth am I supposed to pick just one person? Currently a crap ton of people inspire me and they range from family members to huge Youtubers or authors I have never met.

Just off the top of my head the people that inspire me are:

  1. My little brother [he’s not actually little, he’s 18 and 6’3″]. He’s going to school in Vegas and he doesn’t party. Strong will, man.
  2. George R.R. Martin. ‘Cause, duh.
  3. Obama. Also, duh.
  4. iiSuperwomanii aka Lilly Singh. That girl is a bamf. Does anyone still use ‘bamf’ anymore?
  5. Victoria Schwab because she is my favorite author of this year. She creates characters that I feel so strongly about. I would love to bring characters like that to life on a page.

But this year especially, I think the group of people that have inspired me the most has been the bookish community as a whole. This group spans so many people all actively reading and talking about books on so many platforms. It can be so daunting diving into this community but it really is absolutely amazing once you do! There are so many people with such creative minds in this community that inspiration is just pouring through my screen daily. People with different perspectives on everything from Bella and Edward to the representation of indigenous people in fantasy novels. It has been so much fun to infiltrate this cool ass world with so many awesome people. I hope to continue to grow as a content creator in this community because I want to inspire others to do the same.

Some booktubers that inspired me to start a channel:

Emmmabooks — Is one inspiring lady. This girl is a couple of years younger than me but she is slaying the game with every video. She goes to school, works, reads and makes videos that are always dope. Plus, I feel like she makes discussion videos that are really well thought out and concise.

Pollandbannanasbooks — Do you need a reason to start a booktube channel? Or just want to enjoy a really funny Youtuber? Then go follow Christine. She is hilarious and awesome and kind of makes you feel like you are her best friend despite having not met her ever…

PeruseProject — Reagan,  from Peruse Project, has some of the best book reviews out there. She can fit her reviews into 5 minutes of footage and I may not have heard of the book before but I sure as hell will be reading whatever it is she recommended. She’s just that good. I find I struggle to make my book reviews cohesive and if I ever need inspiration on how to format a video, I go directly to Peruse Project to get some ideas.

So there are some people that inspire me! That took a lot more thought than I anticipated but I find that these three booktubers inspired me the most to start my channel.

I hope you enjoyed! Ta for now!

MR

The Twentieth Wife by Indu Sundaresan Review

27298I just finished this book and I want to keep up my reviews, so I thought I would dump all my thoughts in one quick review!

My Rating: 4 Stars

Goodreads rating: 4.04

Synopsis:

She came into the world in the year 1577, to the howling accompaniment of a ferocious winter storm. As the daughter of starving refugees fleeing violent persecution in Persia, her fateful birth in a roadside tent sparked a miraculous reversal of family fortune, culminating in her father’s introduction to the court of Emperor Akbar. She is called Mehrunnisa, the Sun of Women. This is her story.

Growing up on the fringes of Emperor Akbar’s opulent palace grounds, Mehrunnisa blossoms into a sapphire-eyed child blessed with a precocious intelligence, luminous beauty, and a powerful ambition far surpassing the bounds of her family’s station. Mehrunnisa first encounters young Prince Salim on his wedding day. In that instant, even as a royal gala swirls around her in celebration of the future emperor’s first marriage, Mehrunnisa foresees the path of her own destiny. One day, she decides with uncompromising surety, she too will become Salim’s wife. She is all of eight years old — and wholly unaware of the great price she and her family will pay for this dream.

This is a beautifully imagined adult historical fiction novel. Sundaresan does an amazing job of vividly painting the Indian Empire. This tells the story of the Empress who would rule behind Emperor Jahangir for many years. I picked this book up and it’s sequel, A Feast of Roses, at a thrift store because they caught my eye and I am so glad I did!

I have been reading a lot of teen fantasy/adventure. I haven’t read an adult book in what feels like ages, especially not one of the historical fiction variety. Which is a true shame because history is one of my first loves. I fell head over heels for those Royal Diaries when I was a kid and now it’s almost impossible to find a single YA historical fiction that doesn’t have some sort of fantastical element. Don’t get me wrong, I love fantastical elements in historical settings but I just wish there was more out there for young readers that like history.

Back to The Twentieth Wife. This book was beautiful. Have I already said that? Well, it was. I loved reading a slowly developed novel that has prose dripping with exquisite descriptions of a time and a place that I could never even imagine. [The run on sentence game is strong my friends.] The political intrigue in this book had my heart pounding every other minute and any peace was bound to be disrupted by the end of the chapter. I had to honestly remove myself from the story a couple of times because I thought that I was diving headfirst into history. I would love to see a high budget Netflix show made from these books because it would be so intense.

The characters were interestingly constructed. They weren’t entirely likable, but they were utterly believable. I haven’t studied this time in history much at all but what I do remember from my history classes seemed to come alive on the page. Mehrunnisa is a woman of extreme bravery and grace. I can’t wait to read about her reign as Empress in The Feast of Roses but I think I will wait to jump into that book because I have so many other books I have to finish first.

I do want to point out that this book is strongly for historical lovers. If you don’t like slow paced books, I would not try this one. There was some points where my even my attention waned and that is why I docked a star. I did enjoy this novel but would caution anyone who hasn’t read a historical novel before. If you are vastly interested in India, though, I would say take a dive into this book because it was beautiful. [There I go again…]

Also, the back says this author lives in Bellevue, Washington, which is kind of cool since I live in Seattle. Nifty.

Thanks for reading, ta!

MR

Day #3: Top 3 Pet Peeves

  1. People that chew noisily.Or talk while they have food in their mouth. Or talk incessantly while you are on break at work and just want to read your book. You get the picture.
  2. People that troll or bully people on the internet because they have too much free time on their hands.
  3. People that are rude to retail or service industry workers. And this includes from teenagers up through adulthood. Five year old Timmy can’t control his emotions but his 30 year old Dad sure as hell can. And don’t even get me started on Grandma, the bitch.

I think that’s enough for today. Peace out!

MR